Why do people blame others for what happens in their lives? I know some of you may be thinking, well I don’t or because they caused the issue. If you said you don’t then kudos to you, however, if you’re one of those people then I need you to pay close attention to what I’m about to say. Although that person may have caused the issue, you played a role in it as well. We all play a role in whatever happens in our lives, good or bad. It’s funny that we take credit for the good things however we tend to blame others for the bad things as if we had nothing to do with it. Too many times we don’t take responsibility for our roles in every situation we encounter.
Sometimes you initiate things and people react to them and in their reaction, something not so good happens that may upset us, hurt us, or take us to this dark place. Do you really think it’s all their fault? Nope, they are to blame for their role, however you cannot blame them for your role. For example, someone did some foul stuff to me and I retaliated by snapping back at them and I told them that it was all their fault because if they didn’t do what they did then they wouldn’t have gotten that reaction. Now, in that scenario, I didn’t take any responsibility for my role which was snapping back. Don’t get me wrong, I had every right to feel the way I felt, however I cannot say that it was their fault that I snapped back because I am in total control of my actions and how I respond to things. Although my snapback was very insulting and disrespectful, I cannot sit here and say that that person was the reason. Nope, what I can say is that I could have handled that a different way and said my bad for snapping the way I did and if I disrespected you in any way I do apologize. This is easier said than done, trust me, I know, however in time when you come down off your emotional high, you will be able to recognize your role and apologize for it. I’m famous for not apologizing, just ask my mother, she can tell you lots of stories however now that I’m older I think I do eventually apologize for my role in any situations. It may not be right away.
My point is that we should learn to take responsibility for our actions and our roles in any situation that involves us. We can’t always blame someone else for not being able to climb the ladder of success, getting that promotion that you should have gotten, talking to the guy you thought you should have been talking to and the list goes on and on. If you didn’t put forth the effort to make any of those things possible, then how can it be the other person’s fault. You have got to get out of that mindset of blaming others when things didn’t go as you expected. You have got to start taking responsibility for your role because you are the star of your show, no one else. You are in control of what you do and don’t do and if it doesn’t go the way you expected or wanted then you have yourself to blame if you didn’t try. Now if you tried and it still didn’t go the way you wanted then it just wasn’t meant to be. It wasn’t for you and that is okay, but the other person is not to blame so don’t get angry with them.
So in essence, we must learn to take responsibility for our roles in every situation we encounter. If you continue to blame others for why you responded the way you did, then you have adopted that “victim” mindset and you are not a victim. It is not the other person’s fault that YOU made the choice to respond the way you did. Remember, we do have a choice in how we react to all situations that life brings us.
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