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Betrayal…what is it really? How do you get past the hurt?

Betrayal is the violation of someone’s trust or confidence. It is also being dishonest, unfaithful and disloyal. How many of you have ever felt betrayed by someone, especially someone close to you? How many of you have betrayed someone? Think about that for a few seconds. You’ve probably been on both sides of betrayal and I almost guarantee that you didn’t like being betrayed however you’ve betrayed others. I know for me, I cannot recall a time where I betrayed someone close to me or at least was told that I betrayed them, however I can think of numerous times where I felt betrayed. It’s a horrible feeling to say the least, especially when you thought you had a decent friendship and to find out that the person who you “thought” you were close to actually chose to betray you. OMG!!! I still cringe when I think about it. Betrayal isn’t something that you can easily get over, however it is something that you will eventually get over.

I’m going to say there are a number of ways that you can get past the hurt, however each person handles it differently. For starters, forgive yourself for believing that everyone has your best interests at heart. When it comes down to choosing your friendship or them, 9 times out of 10 your friendship will get the ax. Another way to get past the hurt is to recognize that it wasn’t about you, it was all about them. Sometimes people do things that they feel is best for them regardless of who gets hurt in the process. These are the folks you have to watch out for because they really don’t value friendship as much as you may, or they do and they just don’t know how to handle difficult situations. One last way that you can get past the hurt is to forgive the person who betrayed you. This one is easier said than done, however in the end you’ll feel better because I can almost guarantee that the betrayer probably isn’t thinking anything more of it after it happens. They may give you a half ass apology however they have moved on and most likely isn’t looking back. So do yourself a favor and forgive them anyway to release your anger and resentment. Also don’t retaliate because it just won’t work in your favor. It’ll feel good temporarily however in the end the only one that will continue to be hurt will be you.

What you have to remember is that you are still in total control of your actions and how you respond to various life situations. Betrayal is one of life’s situations that you must choose how you want to respond, either with a vengeance or forgiveness.

Here are some tips on how you can get past the hurt caused by betrayal.

1. Forgive – we know this is extremely important and it’s for you and not them

2. Don’t betray others. This is like do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

3. Remove yourself from those you don’t trust. This is a no brainer. Basically, love from a distance.

4. Control your emotions – don’t obsess over the betrayal, especially if you want to move forward.

In essence, learn from your experiences so that you can continue to grow personally.

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