One thing that I’ve learned is that you have to learn to know, love and accept who you are with and without flaws. If you don’t know, love and accept who you are then how can you expect others to? If you don’t take care of yourself, how can you expect to take care of others? As women and mothers, we are nurturers, the sole caregiver for our families. We must ensure that our family is well taken care of, however we often fail to take care of ourselves. Putting ourselves first is an area we sometimes find challenging. We are often wondering how, can I find time for myself when I must go to work, get the children to and from activities, cook dinner, do laundry, spend quality time with my mate, and everything else. There’s just not enough time. Trust and believe I know and understand that all too well. Well maybe not all of that but some of it.
One thing we must do is find time to just sit in silence, even if it’s just for 5 minutes. We must dedicate that time to just sit still and breath. Exhale the stresses of the day and inhale all the wonderful things that will happen. It’s only 5 minutes and I’m sure we can find 5 minutes to just sit still. Shoot you can surf social media in 5 minutes easily so I know this is something that’s realistic and easy to do.
Next, we must find time to take care of ourselves. Some of us have one, two, three or more health issues that could be caused by not taking care of ourselves. We are always doing for others however we find it hard to find time to take care of ourselves. I remember a time when I made myself available ALL the time to everyone. If you knew me, you knew that you could call me anytime and I’ll be there. If I didn’t answer I would call you back as soon as I could. If anyone needed me I was almost always there and would drop whatever I had going to be there for them. Now, when it was my turn all I heard were voicemail boxes or that message that comes when the mailbox is full, no answer at all and don’t let me forget, I can’t right now, sorry! I was like WOW!!! REALLY!! This happened many times and I was like, dang, I’m always available when you need me but when I need you you’re not. OKAY, this must stop. And so, I stopped. I stopped being available all the time. Funny thing is, when you stop to put yourself first, you get comments like, oh so you too busy for me or you funny acting, or this is my favorite, you’ve changed. When I received those comments, initially I started feeling bad, however after taking a deep breath and pausing for about 5 secs, I just laughed, shook my head, and kept it moving.
Lastly, we must know that it’s OK to put ourselves first. This by far is the most important because if you don’t think it is okay then you will continue to put others ahead of your well-being. People and their issues will continue to control your life because you’re in your feelings. STOP, it’s truly OKAY to say no and not be available all the time. Let people know your availability. We have got to stop letting others control our lives. I love my son and family with all my heart however they know that I try to be in bed by 10 pm (not always successful) and they respect that. They won’t call me after 10 unless they really need to talk, and they are taking a chance that I may be up. I love them for that because that has allowed me to put myself first so that I can get the proper rest I need so that I can be a better mother, daughter, sister, niece and cousin to them. Trust me, it has benefited all of us by respecting my boundaries.
I would like to reiterate that it’s very important that we work on finding time to sit in silence and take care of ourselves. It’s also important for us to know that it’s okay to put ourselves first. Putting yourself first isn’t being selfish, it’s knowing that YOU are important enough to take time for yourself so that you can be a better YOU!
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